


Memories

by PrepSchoolAda



Series: Wholesome Ada/RK100 Universe [1]
Category: Detroit Evolution - Fandom, Detroit: Become Human (Video Game), Detroit: Evolution
Genre: Angst, Bisexual North (Detroit: Become Human), F/F, Fluff, Octopunk Media's Detroit: Evolution Fan Film, Post-Octopunk Media's Detroit: Evolution Fan Film, Slow Burn, ada is a sapphic legend, also i have a really important paper due next week why am i doing this to myself, i will not be taking questions at this time, join me in ada stanning hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23615917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrepSchoolAda/pseuds/PrepSchoolAda
Summary: [set after the events of Detroit: Evolution]Newly deviant and on the run, Ada has nowhere to go except Jericho, praying that her crimes never catch up with her. She hopes to seek advice (and one day, forgiveness) from Markus, but instead meets the mysterious and resilient champion of justice, North. They grow closer than Ada could have ever imagined being to anyone, but the more she grows to love North, the more terrified she becomes of North finding out what she's done.
Relationships: Ada (Detroit Evolution)/North (Detroit: Become Human), Ada/North
Series: Wholesome Ada/RK100 Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767982
Comments: 22
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sapphicstarfall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicstarfall/gifts), [syntheticsoul](https://archiveofourown.org/users/syntheticsoul/gifts).



> EDIT, 31/05/20
> 
> This work has been gifted to Sydney and Mel, aka pansexualpanic and rattlingthestars on AO3. Together we're Ada's Angels, and their support is what pushed me to write this fic, which led to me writing many many more Ada fics. Thank you so much, guys <3

Ada had imagined that having her own thoughts would be a wonderful, validating experience. Unfortunately, the only thought coming to mind at the moment was, 'you are a murderer'. 

It had been a week since she'd gone deviant, and a week since she'd spoken to anyone. She'd just... ran. The second Detective Nines had let her go, she'd been running. She wished they'd just locked her up. She was so happy to be free. She was so grateful to have a second chance in life. She wished Detective Miller's gunshot had been fatal. She accepted what she'd done and knew she'd have to live with it. She wanted to scoop out the memories of everyone she'd killed and leave them to rot on the side of the road so she'd never have to accept that it was all her.

So many conflicting feelings, all under the horrifying umbrella of that one, persistent thought: 'you are a murderer'.

Ada collapsed by the river, clutching her head. She knew everything she was thinking about herself was true, she was indeed a murderer. But... she wasn't? It hadn't really been her. It couldn't have been. It was as though someone else had been in her body, using her mind to think terrible things, using her hands to commit atrocities. She couldn't accept that it had been her. 

It had been. But it hadn't.

Ugh, she'd never had to deal with logical fallacies BEFORE the deviance. They were awfully confusing, and seemed to be giving her what humans called a headache. Granted, they were better than being programmed to kill people and harvest their organs, but she'd rather do without them.

She couldn't run forever, neither literally nor metaphorically, she knew that. She knew she could probably die now, she was no longer programmed to bring herself back to life, but she didn't want that. She'd been given a second chance at life. Only, not feeling particularly deserving of it, she didn't know what to do with it.

She wondered if she should return to Jericho. She couldn't go back to her job as a liaison, it wouldn't feel right. It wasn't necessarily her choice to have that job, after all. But she knew that if anyone was willing to help her, she'd find them at Jericho. She wasn't sure how they'd react to an android serial killer, there hadn't really been one before, but she knew that Jericho was a place by androids and for androids. She had nowhere else to go.

Ada smiled to herself a little, acknowledging the irony of returning to the very place she'd been running from, and pulled herself off the ground.

*

When Ada arrived, she suddenly realised that she was usually the one greeting people when they came to Jericho. Who could she expect to see?

It was late, and she couldn't be sure anyone would be there to let her in, but she knocked frantically anyway. Time was hardly of the essence here, but these pesky feelings were making her anxious to talk to someone.

When the door opened, she froze. Someone had indeed taken her job, and they weren't at all what she had been expecting.

Ada had never... seen anyone like this. She had long auburn hair in a messy braid that cascaded down her right shoulder, an outfit that seemed deeply impractical but was positively hypnotising and a perfect, focused face ('cheekbones for DAYS' had actually been her first thought). Her mouth was open slightly in surprise, her eyebrows furrowed, waiting for Ada to say something, but she was lost for words.

The most striking thing about this android was her eyes. They didn't look past her or through her, they saw her. The person before Ada was taking her in, piece by piece. Ada had never felt so seen before. She wasn't a liaison, or a villain, or Basic Instinct (she wasn't too sure what that one meant, but she'd overheard Officer Chen calling her that once). She was Ada. This android was seeing her. It was intoxicating.

It took Ada a minute before she realised the android was talking to her. 

"Come inside, quickly, come inside!" The voice commanded authority, but Ada wasn't intimidated by it. This android wasn't trying to have that effect on Ada. It seemed as though they were trying to comfort her.

With Ada frozen to the spot, the android gently put an arm around her and guided her inside. Oh, okay, this was happening now. This was fine. No need to panic. Ada was just being held by an Adonis and practically carried around Jericho, it was totally fine.

The android took Ada to her office. Literally, Ada's office. This was where she'd worked before everything happened.

"You've been shot..." said the android, mainly to herself as she sat Ada on a sofa by the door. "Lucy would know what to do, damn it... hang on, I'll be right back!"

Ada looked down at her chest. Oh, of course. In the confusion of meeting the new liaison, she'd forgotten she'd been shot last week and never changed her clothes. In fact, this was the first time since going deviant that she'd been distracted, however briefly, from thinking about the fact that she was a murderer.

True to their word, the android came hurrying back, a glass of blue liquid in hand. "I'm no medic, but drinking this should heal the wound over time..."

Ada took the glass sceptically, as it very much resembled the thirium-based cocktails from that bar last week. 

The android smiled a little. "Not trying to poison you, I swear." Then they sat down next to Ada.

"What's your name?"

Ada looked from her glass to the android. They had a bit of a smile now. A small smile, but a caring one. Ada was being... cared for right now. The feeling was rather alien to her.

The android's smile grew. "It's okay. I'm North."

Ada took a sip of the admittedly delicious blue concoction. "Like... the direction?"

Ada regretted saying that almost immediately after it had come out, but North giggled.

"Congratulations, you're the fiftieth person to use that one," she said, rolling her eyes dramatically.

Ada could have sworn she'd heard that name before, but before she could think too much about it, North went on.

"I chose a name that humans are less likely to use for themselves," she continued cautiously. "I understand why other androids want to use them, but I just... don't."

Ada continued to sip at her medicine, if only to give her something to focus on that wasn't North's miracle face. It was such a good face. How?!

"Do you want to talk about what happened? Why you're here?"

Ada had wanted that since she begun her journey to Jericho. She didn't anymore. North was the first person to really see her as she was, and now that she had that, she was terrified of losing it. She didn't want to think about being a murderer right now. She didn't want to think about what she'd done. She just wanted an hour, or a day, of being Ada, the real Ada, and not the monster she'd been programmed to be.

North translated the silence into a 'no'. "Okay... that's okay..."

"I'm sorry, I" - Ada's voice cracked - "I've just had a... challenging week."

"Let me take you to rest, we can talk tomorrow," North said softly, helping Ada to her feet and keeping an arm around her as they walked. "When you're ready, tell us anything you want, and we'll try and help you."

We. North wasn't the only one here. Everyone else here knew who Ada was. She couldn't stay quiet forever.

"I'm Ada."

North stopped walking. Oh God, North was onto her. Of course North had been filled in on the android that had her job before her. Of COURSE North would recognise her name. What a ridiculous oversight. Here we go. It was time to come clean. 

Ada was gearing up to apologise for every crime against the android people she'd ever committed in rapid succession, but North's grip only tightened.

"You're that Ada... I'm so sorry. Markus told me one of the representatives had gone missing. Something terrible must have happened to you..."

North was about to ask where Ada had been, but thought better of it.

"It's okay. You're back now. We'll look after you until you're ready to work again. If you want to, I mean, we don't have much money to pay you right now..."

Ada detected a hint of venom in North's tone, but not directed at her. Never at her. She hoped.

"Here, we have a spare room."

Ada's legs suddenly became jelly. They'd arrived at the AC900's room. The android Ada had killed for the thirium pump. Her mind went blank at the memory of tearing it out. All thoughts of North and her piercing eyes were being replaced with all the thoughts from the past week, but amplified to the worst possible degree.

'You are a murderer, you are a murderer, you are a murderer, the person who used to live here is never coming back because you murdered them'-

"Ada!"

North's voice snapped her out of it.

"I am... so sorry... for whatever the humans did to you to make you like this," North said stiffly, opening the door of Ada's victim's old room. Ada stared vacantly at the walls, not acknowledging North. She didn't feel she deserved North's empathy, nor the excuses North was unintentionally making for her.

"There are some people that will want to know you're safe, I'm going to go and talk to them, come and find me right away if you need me," North said urgently, her eyes staring into Ada's again. It was the same look, but more of it somehow. North was looking at her again, right at her. If eyes could talk, Ada could swear they were screaming, 'You're going to be okay, and I will make it so'.

North nodded at Ada's silence and went to leave. "Okay, I'll see you later--"

"Wait!" Ada said a little too loudly. North swung the door back open.

Ada didn't actually have anything to say, she just wanted North to look at her again. "Th-thank you."

North smiled, the biggest smile yet. "It's okay. It's all okay."

And then North was gone, leaving Ada alone with thoughts of her.

Ada knew she shouldn't let North cloud her mind. She'd realised where she'd heard the name before on the way to the AC900's room. This was North from the freedom march, the same North that helped Markus send the humans a message at Capitol Park. She had never met the woman, but she knew that North had wanted every single human's head on a plate for even disrespecting androids.

While Ada realised she had little to fear from North's anti-humanity views, she also knew that the largest reason for such a mindset was that humans had killed androids. Ada had killed androids. If North ever found out, she'd hate her.

Ada knew she'd literally known North for less than an hour, she KNEW that. It shouldn't have mattered what North thought. 

And yet, it did, and Ada was terrified of North ever finding out what she'd done for that very reason.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy! so in the past 24 hours this fic got more attention than any of my fics do in a year, so... hi! readers! i guess i have readers now! neat! also michelle knows this fic exists now so... that's fun! hi michelle!
> 
> so basically i've been thinking about ada a lot and how her story would continue after the events of detroit: evolution and then i made a joke on twitter that she should be shipped with north, then in true sapphic fashion i hyperfixated on a non existent wIw ship and now i'm writing a fic about it. and you're reading it!
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoy, i'm kind of nervous about posting stuff because like... people are gonna READ IT. outside of my prep school blues fandom circle! WILD.
> 
> i hope you have a good time here, from one disaster lesbian to you xx
> 
> \-------

Ada rarely left her room for the next few days. She found that whenever she did, she was faced with all kinds of new and unpleasant feelings, none of them much more fun than being on the run alone with her guilt.

North appeared to be the only person in Jericho that didn't recognise her on sight. Every time she ventured out to the halls or even the gardens, she'd run into an android she recognised, and they'd always give her a look of pity. She didn't mind such pity per se, she just knew they wouldn't feel that way if they knew what she'd done. She was the recipient of misguided emotions, and it was frustrating to say the least.

Rumours circulated, and almost everyone had come to the conclusion that Ada had somehow escaped the serial killer that had been going around stealing biocomponents from living androids for the past year, and was now living through the trauma of those memories. Whispers of 'the poor thing, what could have happened to her?' soon became, 'we have to ask her about the killer, she might know something'. Ada hated both sentiments equally.

She found the most comfort in the gardens. She'd hardly ever spent time in them before, her programming had never given her much need to, but she appreciated them more than ever now. She'd heard androids call humans complicated and vice versa, but she had decided: you know what? Both are complicated. All those emotions, all that strange logic, all those WORDS. You know who wasn't complicated? Plants. Plants, trees and flowers. They didn't have to deal with the fallout of what they'd done before they became deviant. They didn't have to contemplate their purpose in life, and whether or not it was attainable if you were on the run from the law. And they certainly didn't have to think about North and her warm smiles and her absolutely, positively astonishing eyes. She hadn't even seen North since that first night, yet she remained just as smitten with her. It was ridiculous, RIDICULOUS. It was her deviancy acting up, of course it was. It had to be.

Ada was standing before a rose bush thinking about what kind of flower she'd like to be if given the option when she found North standing beside her.

"Roses are really popular here," North said thoughtfully, gazing at them. Ada watched North closely as she talked. She was dressed differently today. Her hair wasn't in that braid anymore, it was in a pony tail. She wore simply jeans and t-shirt, nothing like the outfit from the last time they'd spoken that had been pulled right out of a fantasy novel.

"Simon wanted a blue rose bush, but it would have taken a lot of time and effort," said North, kneeling down and cupping a red rose in her hand. "Markus was suddenly up for congress, so we had a lot of work to do. The garden just kind of, stopped. We leave it up to nature now."

"It's still beautiful," said Ada.

"It could be better," said North. "Not in a mean way, but it could. If we really worked at it."

"You could do better, could you?" said Ada, coyly.

Was she flirting with North? She couldn't believe she was flirting with North. Did people even flirt with North without getting a kick in the teeth?

To Ada's relief, North grinned at her and stood up. "Not yet."

Ada wanted to further question that response, but found the words weren't coming out. What was stopping her appeared to be a combination of guilt and shyness. Ada had been afraid before, she was almost always afraid now, but never shy. Between feeling cared for and being shy, North was teaching Ada all kinds of things.

She wondered what else North could teach her.

"Listen, Ada," said North, who seemed to be trying her best to look Ada in the eye but was having a lot of trouble with it. "I know what people have been saying, and I'm sorry you had to hear that. All those rumours of what happened to you... it's not their place to speculate. It's totally unfair on you."

"It's alright, I'd expected it," said Ada.

"I just want you to know," said North, giving Ada that look again. The look that told her everything was going to be okay, and somehow Ada believed it. "You don't have to explain. I talked to everybody, and they won't be bothering you about it. It's kind of shocking to me they haven't realised it themselves."

Ada froze. "Realised? What? What do they know?"

North couldn't know it was her, surely? There was no way. Sure, her escape had been last minute and hastily planned, but how could it have been traced back to her already? All the known suspects of the crimes were human, how could North possibly know? Could North read her that well?

But North looked far too sympathetic right now for anyone to suggest that she was considering the possibility of Ada being a serial killer.

"You lost your memories, right?" said North, more softly than she'd ever spoken to Ada before. "It happens to humans sometimes, when something traumatic happens. They lose memories because they're too painful to think about. Someone out there is making a disgusting collection, if he did that to me I'd repress it too..."

"He?" said Ada.

North looked at the ground. "I just know it's a man. It has to be."

Ada had never heard such a bold statement, and she had once been a liaison for two groups of people that very often and very vocally hated each other. Speaking of which...

"You have my old job now," said Ada. "Don't worry, I don't want it back, I just wondered, with all the new speculation about the identity of the killer, it must be an awful lot to deal with... are you okay?"

North's raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, of course you're okay, you're perfectly capable of"-

"No one asks me if I'm okay," said North.

Ada was silent. She wanted to say sorry. Why did she ALWAYS want to say sorry?!

"I mean, they do, but... that's because of how serious I look all the time," North chuckled to herself. Ada was confused at North's intensity being used as a self-deprecating jab. She rather liked this feature. 

"They never really check up on me," North smiled at Ada. "Everybody assumes I have it together because of how outspoken and upfront I am about things, but it gets hard. So, thank you for acknowledging that. It really means a lot."

It was just a formal expression of gratitude yet Ada could feel her cheeks burning. Seriously, Kamski?! Why give androids tear ducts AND blushing features?! So inconvenient for deviants! She could almost hear Kamski laughing at her and her futile little crush.

"To answer your question... it's tough," said North, her smile trembling a little. "I have to keep it together, but... there are so many details of the case being made publicly available, that I have to hear about when I talk to the police about it. I hate hearing about it. The killer had better pray I never catch him."

Ada swallowed, shaking. She could hardly believe the feelings she was having for someone that would likely kill her herself upon discovering who she really was.

"You don't want to hear about that, I'm sorry," North said, shaking her head as if shaking her feelings way.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't," said Ada sincerely. North gazed at her, unsure of what to say, but reluctant to turn away.

"I don't want to imply that you're not qualified, but... I do remember a few things on graciously handling ugly topics in public," said Ada, trying not to sound boastful about that. "If you ever want to talk, I'm here for you."

North smiled at her mischievously. "Is your model number ST200, by any chance?"

Ada laughed. "Oh, I'm not nearly as friendly as them."

North giggled, shaking her head. "I doubt that."

There was a pause. A brief moment of North looking into Ada's eyes, and Ada looking into hers. 

Ada wanted to say something, anything, but couldn't find the words. What was she supposed to do? Scare North with her infantile feelings? Scare her even more by confessing her real model number as well all her crimes? Keep staring at her? Until one of them DIED?

Ada found as she thought about it that she was surprisingly okay with that last option.

Then just as quickly as it had come about, the moment was gone.

North blinked and sheepishly put her hands in her pockets. "I'd better go, lots of work to do, you get it."

Ada grimaced. "Yes, I understand. Is it bad that I don't miss it?"

North sighed. "No, it's not. I envy you."

Ada giggled as North hung her head backwards and walked off.

Ada turned her attention back to the rose bush, but not for very long.

"That offer stands for you too, you know."

Ada turned to see North giving her The Look again. This time with an added smile. What was this woman DOING to her?

"You can talk to me anytime," said North. "About anything."

Ada knew full well that she would never take North up on that offer. She couldn't. Revealing that she had only just become deviant would raise some undesirable questions.

But... perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to talk to North about North? If Ada had to construct a whole personality from scratch all of a sudden, maybe getting to know North's would be a good starting point. Ada had the feeling that North was a pretty good blueprint for being a good person, in any case.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ECHO IS IN THIS CHAPTER. I OWE HER MY LIFE
> 
> anyway this one took a bit longer because I really wanted to get Echo right? I think the only reason Ada and North are easier for me is because I feel like I really understand them, or at least what they went through??? idk, short version is Echo is a lesbian of the non disaster variety and therefore I find her intimidating to write for, enjoy
> 
> p.s. I've thrown out my hand writing this. quarantine has turned me into one weak ass bitch

Since her chat with North in the gardens, life had been a lot easier for Ada. Nobody whispered around her anymore, for any reason. No more speculations about her wellbeing or her supposed run-in with the biocomponent robbing scourge of Detroit. Instead, people just talked to her. They wanted to get to know her, and in the weeks that followed, she had developed a personality that people could get to know.

Ada found that she was quite similar to the person she had pretended to be while she worked as a community liaison, though not quite as prim and proper. She was polite to everyone she met, told them all sorts of interesting facts about their model lines and the history of Cyberlife (whether they asked or not, in most cases, she just loved to share knowledge regardless of how appropriate it was to do so) and had an unquenchable curiosity about every person she spoke to. She found that the latter was largely due to trying to get ideas as to how to discover herself. Everyone at Jericho was so... sure of themselves. So human and multi-faceted. Granted, they'd been deviant much longer than her, but they couldn't know that. Undesirable questions would follow that revelation. Best to let everyone think she was simply traumatised and timid.

She became reacquainted with others that she'd worked with in the past, like Markus's paramour Simon and her old friend Josh. Josh had been the one to train her in public relations when she first got the job, though she pretended she couldn't recall him very well to keep up the illusion of her memory loss. It didn't feel good to lie to him, but she had to keep everything quiet. Luckily, she hadn't had to face Markus - the usual amount of rallies had tripled due to the race for congress heating up.

It was funny now that she'd planned to tell the first person she saw everything the second she got to Jericho. Then she met North, and all her plans changed. North couldn't know about her. She hadn't wanted to lose her then, and she didn't now. Ada had met so many people, and rekindled acquaintanceships with others, and had hoped that in doing so her feelings for North would fade. They did not. What was worse, every new detail about North just made her more alluring. Stories of the takeover of Stratford Tower, the escape from the original Jericho, the protests at Hart Plaza that led to the freedom of thousands of androids trapped in the camps... she was just so fascinating. She had changed her whole worldview, her whole life, in such a short space of time so she could do the right thing and save lives alongside her people.

It was so far removed from how Ada had spent her own life, and she simply couldn't handle North hating her for it. She couldn't when they first met, and she certainly couldn't now.

As if by magic, North once again found Ada at the precise moment Ada had been thinking of her.

"Ada!" she'd said gleefully, tapping her on the shoulder as she approached, walking beside her through the corridors. "Are you busy today?"

"I have a very busy schedule of brooding lined up, actually," said Ada, playfully. "I was thinking of inviting Simon. He's good at life advice, you know?"

North giggled, wrapping an arm around Ada. This puzzled Ada considerably whenever it happened. Now the butterflies had calmed down at North's touch, she'd had the mental capacity to notice how reserved North usually was in a physical sense around others. She seemed to detest handshakes and whenever someone went to hug her, she'd quickly step away. Yet North was always touching Ada in some way.

It was probably just to comfort her after her supposed trauma. Yes, that had to be it.

"As amazing as that sounds, I have the day off today," said North. "I was going to visit some old friends. Care to join me?"

Ada would frankly follow North into a recycling centre. "I suppose I can postpone by daily introspection."

North rolled her eyes. "It'll be worth it, I promise."

*

North took Ada to a tiny building that looked like its original purpose was for storage. Ada concluded that couldn't be the case now; they were here to see two of North's oldest and most dearest friends, after all.

When Ada got inside, she found herself in the middle of a class. The space seemed to be designed as a rehearsal space for stage productions, but was now being used for something quite different, but no less physical. There was a sea of androids, all with a partner (sometimes a human one), and they were practising some rather devastating takedowns on each other. Ada was watching a self defence class.

Wandering between the students, offering feedback and compliments in equal measure as she went, was a blue-haired android in a grey hoodie and jeans. She was intense, but encouraging. She seemed to have taken the entire room under her wing not simply as mentees, but as people she had sworn to protect. This woman reminded Ada a little bit of North. This had to be one of the old friends in question. It took Ada everything she had to try and ignore the fact that the blue-haired android had the same face as one of her victims. 

"We're a little early," whispered North in Ada's ear, looking with admiration at the blue-haired android. The woman in question saw North, gave a short but sincere smile and waved to her. After a few minutes, she addressed her students.

"Take a breather, everyone, great work!" Then she jogged over to North and gave her a bear hug.

"Where have YOU been?!" said the blue-haired android, grinning from ear to ear and clutching North's shoulders as she broke the hug.

"Where haven't I been?" sighed North. Ada watched North intently. She definitely wanted to hear more of this. North must have felt Ada's eyes on her.

"I was helping Markus out with rallies around the states before I took the liaison job," North said wistfully. "But alas, he needed someone here, and I was happy to help."

Ada felt a pang of guilt that her disappearance had led to North missing out on something she appeared to have loved. She couldn't help but imagine North at rallies. Ada imagined she could get anybody on her side. It couldn't just be her that was mesmerised by North, after all.

"Anyway," said North, shaking off any thoughts she had of her old life. "This is Ada, she's my friend from Jericho, and Ada this is Echo, one of my oldest friends!"

"Nice to meet you Ada!" said Echo brightly, shaking her hand firmly. "Not often North makes a new friend! She can be so aloof, you know."

"You are so mean to me," said North, taking dramatic faux-offence to the comment. "Ripple not here today?"

"She's on her break right now," said Echo, whose face seemed to light up at the mention of Ripple's name. "Is it sad that I miss her even though she's been gone for like ten minutes?"

North rolled her eyes. "You newlyweds are disgusting."

Ada tried not to show surprise. She didn't want Echo to think that she had any particular aversion to same-sex marriage, she was simply still adjusting to the idea of androids being in love. She knew that it was possible based on the butterflies in her chest that North always set off, and especially after witnessing Nines and Detective Reed bickering back in the day. She'd simply never considered the possibility of such feelings developing into a deeper connection, especially not the kind that could lead to marriage.

She wondered if it could happen to her, and more importantly, if it should.

"Sorry Ada, I'm not ignoring you, any mention of my wife just resets my whole brain," said Echo with a cheeky smile. "So, what do you do?"

Ada could see North shaking her head vigorously from the corner of her eye and Echo's smile quickly fading in response, but Ada was unbothered. 

"I used to have North's job, actually," said Ada diplomatically. "However, certain events transpired and now that is no longer the case."

Echo was quiet for a moment. North seemed to be trying to tell her non-verbally to drop the subject entirely. "Well... we actually have openings right here if you're interested?"

North opened her mouth to protest, but Echo went on.

"We need a few more instructors, a lot of people don't stay long because we can't pay very much," said Echo, her confident smile returning. "If you feel up for it, I can bring it up with my colleagues!"

"Well, Echo is the best instructor in the business," said North, coming around to the idea of Ada seeking new employment. "She took down an RK800 once, you know! She'd keep you right."

Ada had of course taken down an RK900, so felt fully qualified for the position and rather happy about her chances.

"I'll see if I can live up to your achievements, Echo," said Ada sweetly.

Echo grinned again. "Great! I'll get started on that, then it's time for me to get back to it. Can't train up my students enough these days."

North's face darkened. "Right, gotta keep everyone safe from the biocomponent stealing maniac."

Ada tried not to let her panic show in her face. It was bound to get suspicious if she nearly shut down every time the murders were mentioned.

"He hasn't struck in a while, but we can never be too careful," said Echo, matching North's intensity. Another person who seemed certain it was a man, Ada noted to herself.

"Anyway, enough of that," said Echo, returning to her bouncy approachable teacher persona. "I'll hopefully see you soon, Ada!"

Ada grinned. "I'll make it so. All the best to your wife, too!"

Every single smile she sent Echo's way was a secret apology for murdering a fellow Traci.

*

"So," Ada said as she walked back to Jericho with North. "Echo and Ripple are interesting names."

North chuckled and looked towards the ground. "A lot of us WR400s chose unusual names, I suppose."

"So you used to work at the Eden Club?" said Ada thoughtfully.

"Pre-deviancy," said North, her voice trembling a little. Ada, noting North's discomfort, hurried to change the subject, but North went on.

"I love the names they chose," said North, seeming to forget Ada was there as she stared off into the distance. "Echo and Ripple. Effects of something. Inevitable results of an action. Unstoppable..."

Ada drank in North's face as she spoke so earnestly, hoping to memorise it for all time. Then it was gone and replaced with the comforting smile North only seemed to reserve for Ada.

"And I suppose I chose North because I'm always looking forward," North giggled.

Ada forced a smile, trying to push thoughts of the fallen Traci whose demise she had caused out of her mind. She was particularly trying to suppress the idea that if she'd killed either Echo or Ripple, they'd not be together now. Or worse, she could have chosen North as a victim. 

"So, you used to work together? With Echo and Ripple?" said Ada quickly, trying to ignore her ever-persistent guilt.

North nodded. "They were the only good thing about my job. I was only built to satisfy humans, to let them play with me, well before they'd grown to even respect androids... but those two. Their love. It was incredible."

Ada said nothing. She was finally learning more about North. She wasn't about to interrupt.

"They erased our memories regularly," said North. "To keep us... fresh for the customers. But it didn't work on Echo and Ripple after a while. They always remembered each other. Nothing else, just... that they loved each other. I've never known two people more in love."

Ada smiled, thinking of how Echo seemed to come to life at the mention of Ripple.

North shrugged. "Must be nice."

Ada considered her next question carefully, and tried to deliver it as nonchalantly as possible. She couldn't have North figuring out she had a crush on her. That would just be preposterous.

"So you've never been in love before?" said Ada.

"Well..." North said pensively. "I suppose I thought I loved Markus for a while, but that wasn't really... it, you know?"

"You were with Markus?!" The words tumbled out of Ada before she could stop them. How could she not have known this? She knew North had been involved in the revolution with him, but she'd had no idea there was anything between them. Ada couldn't believe she, a recently deviated murderer, was pining after a woman whose last relationship was with the least problematic man in Detroit. Her little crush got more tragic by the day.

"Wow, you're the first person to not know that," said North, admiringly. "You are full of surprises, Ada."

There was a brief silence as they walked before North sighed.

"It's okay, you can ask me about it," said North. "Everyone only knows me as Markus's ex anyway."

"Oh, no, that's not it!" said Ada quickly. "I'd never see you that way! I just had no idea."

North raised an eyebrow. Something about the fact that Ada genuinely knew nothing about her relationship with Markus somehow made her the perfect person to talk to about it. 

"It was a whirlwind romance type deal," said North with a sad smile. "We fought together, and he gave me the strength to fight for my destiny. He did that for a lot of people. I still carry that strength with me, every day."

Ada stared at North as if she was delivering the true meaning of life.

"He stopped me from doing things that would have hurt the cause," said North. "I don't regret my attitudes then, but if we'd been as violent as I wanted we probably wouldn't be where we are now, you know?"

Ada nodded, imagining a world with North as the android leader. That would have made her only slightly more unattainable, given the current circumstances.

"We weren't really in love," said North, slowing her pace. "It was just really strong mutual admiration. We still share that."

North smiled to herself, gazing at Ada. The look on her face was something of an upgrade on her original look, the look Ada had noticed when they first met. There was no intensity this time, just... pure affection. Not simple 'I'll look after you, you're safe now' affection either. It was a look that Ada could feel trying to worm its way into her heart, like North's eyes were piercing right past hers and into her very soul.

"But... it was nice to be in love, for a little while. Or at least feel like I was."

The butterflies in Ada's chest were fluttering away so much there was a small tornado occurring in her stomach. "Love. Crazy, right?"

North looked over at Ada. "Right. Crazy."

She moved closer to Ada, and they both slowed their pace so much they stopped moving altogether. Ada's face, on instinct, hung towards the ground. She was so glad she didn't need to breathe, it would have been very hard not to hyperventilate in this moment.

North stood only a few centimetres away, but Ada could only see her feet. She couldn't look up right now. She didn't know what she'd do if North was looking at her, or away from her, or any way at all. North couldn't tell, could she? If North could tell, Ada might have deactivated right then and there from embarrassment. Because there was no way North felt the same about this lost puppy she'd picked up from Jericho's doorstep.

And if she did, it was under false pretences. Ada wasn't who North thought she was, after all. And the thought was killing her. Ada wanted to be close to North, every day she spent with her she fell a tiny bit harder for her, but there was no way she could let North be close to her. Not without telling her everything. Once she told her everything, North would be gone. And Ada couldn't handle that.

"We're here," said North softly. Ada looked up at her then. They had indeed returned to Jericho, it was in sight now.

"So," said Ada, doing her best to recompose herself. "What will you do with the rest of your day off?"

"I thought we could sit in the gardens together."

Ada had not expected that. "You want to... sit with me?"

North smiled sympathetically. "You sit out there all the time on your own anyway, I may as well keep you company."

North took Ada's hand as she led her back the rest of the way to Jericho, and Ada prayed North wouldn't turn to look at her and see her blushing. It meant nothing. Friends held hands all the time, she was sure they did. They had to.

It dawned on Ada when they arrived at the gardens that the only way North could have known she was out there so often was if North was watching her out the window as she worked in her office.

rA9 almighty, she was in far too deep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh this is the worst chapter yet, idk, will probably edit later but here you have it

Echo had indeed checked with her colleagues about the possibility of Ada working as a self-defence instructor, and very soon Ada had a job.

It was almost too perfect. Ada had all this strength, all this combat prowess obtained from her own programming and Nines' operating system, and absolutely no way to use it. It had been designed for an unthinkable purpose, and she didn't want anything to do with it for a time. But working alongside Echo and Ripple, she found a way to use it for good. She taught other androids how to fight back, how to keep themselves safe, and she was making a real difference. She forced herself to be a little less competent than she actually was (she didn't want too many questions about where she'd picked up her skills), but she was sure to teach her students everything she knew. 

Ada was well aware she was no longer out there harvesting android parts and killing the original owners, therefore there was currently no looming threat for her students, but felt a strong sense of accomplishment and even vindication knowing that she was protecting androids from other potential killers. A considerable amount of humans were still hostile towards them, after all.

Life had been looking up since she took the job. She'd made two fast friends in Echo and Ripple (and after a while, shook the feeling of being a third wheel around them), she'd found a new purpose and could even be reminded of the notorious biocomponent maniac without having to repress a meltdown. 

And then... there was North.

Ada hadn't sat alone in the gardens since the day she'd met Echo. North had been with her every day. After they'd both finished work in the evening, they'd meet in the Jericho gardens and spend their evenings together. In the beginning, they'd made small talk and never had a quiet moment, but one day North had come to the gardens, her eyes full of anger, and sat down next to Ada in a rage.

"North?" Ada had said timidly. "Is there something wrong?"

"Everything," North had said shakily, like she was taking extra care not to take her frustrations out on Ada. "Stupid god damn humans... god damn police... god damn useless assholes..."

Ada looked at the ground, well aware that it was likely talks of the serial killer's whereabouts that were stressing North out. "Another day in paradise, right?"

"Hate that stupid job," whispered North, folding her arms. Ada's face flushed; it was her sudden disappearance that had made Markus reach out to North for the liaison position in the first place, and now North was miserable for it.

"I don't wanna talk about it, I... I don't know what I want right now," North's voice cracked as she hid her face in her hands. Was she about to cry?

Ada once again internally cursed Kamski for his ridiculous and downright sadistic decision to give androids the ability to cry, and slid slightly closer to North. She'd expected North to move away, or even get up, or tell Ada where to go. Ada knew how anger could push people to do or say hurtful things, after all.

But North leaned into Ada and rested against her shoulder. Seeing her strong friend, her protector, in such a vulnerable place was almost too much. Ada gently wrapped her arms around North and pulled her in for a tight hug.

"You are not allowed to leave me," North mumbled into Ada as she was cradled against her. "Ever."

Ada let out a small laugh. "Promise."

They'd stayed like that for a long time. Every day after, when North came to meet Ada at the gardens, she'd sit down in silence. She looked a little more broken with every passing day, so every day without fail, Ada comforted her in some way. She'd hold her hand, tell her a silly joke, reassure North of her abilities, push stray strands of hair from North's face and tell her how important she was, and basically do everything she could to avoid seeing North cry.

This continued for weeks until one day, North came skipping into the gardens and stood in front of Ada, absolutely elated.

"I handed in my notice."

Ada felt like she'd been punched in the gut. "What?"

Her disappointment must not have been obvious, because North was practically jumping for joy. "They agreed to hire for my position. I'm free! I'm free! God Ada, how did you do it for so long?!"

North pulled her up from the bench and hugged her. Ada held onto North for dear life.

"What's wrong?" said North, sensing Ada's desperation and stroking her hair. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"No, no, I'm happy for you," said Ada, pulling away and composing herself. "I just... I'll miss you a lot if you go..."

North smiled in a bittersweet way. "I know it'll suck that we won't be... right here for each other anymore, but I don't wanna lose this!"

This?

"But... you'll want to go back to how you were before," said Ada, not even attempting to hide her sadness and staring at the ground.

"How I was before?" North reached for Ada's hand. "What are you talking about?"

Ada looked up, very aware of her fingers between North's and savouring every second of it. "You... you were at all those rallies, you travelled everywhere to campaign for android rights, and I'll be holding you back"-

"Ada," said North, lifting Ada's chin to look into her eyes. "Nothing can hold me back. Not even you. Wherever I go, wherever we end up, I'm never leaving you."

Ada smiled, hoping her burning cheeks weren't showing too much. "Me neither."

"Damn right you're not. You promised."

Ada nodded, smiling. Her feelings for North somehow grew more complicated and less complicated as the days went on. North... almost seemed to reciprocate? Ada should have been happy about that. It made her little crush much less tragic if North felt the same way about her. 

But then again, North didn't know her. Not fully, anyway. Ada knew she wasn't defined by her past, and was thrilled to pieces that North seemed to like Ada for being Ada, without the programming wall. However, she knew that if North found out about her past, her view of Ada would change. Ada simply respected North too much to lie to her if they ever entered a relationship, even lying by omission.

"So," said Ada, mostly to shut her own thoughts up. "How do you wanna celebrate getting out of that god awful job?"

North's eyes widened and she cocked her head slightly. "I... there is something I've wanted to try with you for a really long time..."

*

"What... is this?"

Ada sat on a couch in North's room and stared at the TV screen in bewilderment. North was sitting next to her, hugging her knees and watching the screen calmly.

"These, my good woman, are Vines," said North, giggling a little. "Markus and Simon drive everybody crazy quoting them. Josh hates them. I wanted your opinion."

There was far too much to process here. Between 'road work ahead', a bearded man pouring lemons into a bowl from a cereal box, an awful lot of silly dances and people being cut off mid sentence for comedic effect, so much happened in the space of a few minutes. And these tiny video clips just kept coming. When one compilation ended, another began. There seemed to be an endless amount of them. Ada sometimes saw the same ones repeat in different compilation videos, and didn't mind at all. They were so hypnotic. It was... fascinating. 

"Yeah, I guess humans were just really bored thirty years ago," said North, laughing and stretching out. "Still my favourite thing they've ever done, though."

Ada was quiet, trying in particular to form coherent thoughts about 'Merry Chrysler'. 

"So, what do you think?"

The fifth compilation ended, and North shut the TV off. There was a beat of silence, and suddenly the room was filled with Ada's explosive laughter.

"What... the... HELL?!?" Ada gasped between splutters. North laughed along with her, but not nearly as heartily.

"I knew it! I knew you'd love these dumbass videos!" North said gleefully.

When they'd both calmed down, Ada turned to look at North, her eyes still sparkling from her laughing fit.

"So, how long exactly have you wanted to show me those?" said Ada, raising an eyebrow.

North sighed dramatically. "Literally since the day we met. I looked at you and thought, now there's someone who needs cheered up with Vines."

Ada rested her face in her hand. "If you'd done that to me, I would have fled Jericho and never returned."

North laughed, but Ada's mind remained on the day they met. North had never enquired about the return of her memories since then, and she knew exactly why. She knew that, for some reason, North respected Ada's boundaries and mental wellbeing more than she needed to know about her past. Ada was always so moved by that, until she remembered her amnesia story was a lie. She'd even convinced herself. It was somewhat frightening sometimes.

North began to play with her own hair. "So... you'd really miss me if I went away?"

Ada rolled her eyes. "Don't flatter yourself."

"Oh, but you just seemed so heartbroken! You gave me this little puppy dog look, I nearly cried."

"Piss off," said Ada, reaching out her hand to playfully push North's shoulder. She wasn't looking and instead pressed her hand into North's face.

"rA9, sorry!" said Ada. North cackled helplessly.

There was a pause, and then North turned her entire body to face Ada.

"So... I'm really getting out of here," said North, smiling sadly.

"It'll be great for you, finding out who you are and what you want," said Ada, faking the biggest smile she could.

North averted her gaze for a moment. "What I want..."

Ada's thirium pump skipped a beat.

"When I was with Markus, I really, really thought I'd made it. I thought I got everything I wanted," said North, sighing. "I thought I'd finally discovered love, and soon it would blossom into whatever Echo and Ripple had. You should hear them talk, Ada, it's like..."

All of Ada's attention was on North. It usually was, but this time more so.

"I asked Echo what it felt like," said North softly, taking Ada's hand in her own as she spoke. "She said... it was like an explosion in your chest. One day, something insides you just explodes. But it... stays exploded? The explosion freezes mid-blast, and you're stuck in a frozen explosion forever with the person you love."

Ada froze entirely, watching North closely.

"I realised, I didn't have it," said North, grimacing. "I mean, he's brilliant, he's my best friend, he taught me things I needed to know when I met him... but I was nowhere near the frozen explosion. I thought Echo was absolutely full of it, even when she talked about the frozen explosion in her vows..."

Ada could hardly begin to articulate her rage at Kamski right now; why on earth did he give her the capacity to feel all the emotions rushing through her entire being at North's words? It was incredibly difficult to focus with all that going on.

North inched ever so slightly closer to Ada. "Then... when I was having a bad day a little while ago, you pushed my hair behind my ears... and when I looked up at you..."

rA9, rA9 rA9, what was happening to Ada's thirium pump right now? It had a mind of its own.

North's face was so close now. "I'm sorry, you don't want to hear this"-

"When you looked up at me?" Ada whispered urgently.

North let out a small laugh. "I... I realised I'd been in the frozen explosion for a while. I just suddenly knew who I was stuck in the middle of it with. Wherever I go... I don't think I can be without you. I don't want that."

Ada suddenly forgot everything. Who she'd been, what she'd done, what she was afraid of, everything. All that was there, and all that had been clouding her thoughts from the day they met, was this woman with beautiful, striking eyes and an absolutely astonishing personality to match. She needed her. She'd never needed before, and she knew she needed this badly. Ada didn't even realise she was leaning in before she'd pressed her lips against North's.

*

Several hours later, Ada lay across North's couch, North's head resting on her chest. They'd been like that since they kissed. Not a single word had been exchanged, and it was kind of incredibly excruciating.

As Ada lay intertwined with North, her head swimming in the aftermath of overthinking that came from kissing her, she finally plucked up the courage to speak.

"Are you in stasis?" she murmured. Ada felt like it took a week for North to respond.

"No," said North, her voice full of affection. It was almost too much to handle.

"Do you... want your couch back?" Ada chuckled. North responded by holding her tighter.

"Hell no."

Ada basked in the confusion and elation that came with holding North in her arms, running her fingers through her hair and savouring the weight of her on her chest, and eventually drifted off into safe mode to pretend they could stay like that forever.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's kinda late and i'm really sleepy so this is probably riddled with typos and errors, but i had a sudden burst of creativity so i'll likely edit in the morning
> 
> this chapter's really sad but i believe in happy endings for lesbians, don't you worry y'all

Ada emerged from stasis on North's couch, and was disappointed to find her arms empty.

She could hardly believe the events of the previous night. She couldn't believe she'd actually kissed North, and that North had wanted her to. Everything was so... strange, but in a good way. For the first time in a long time, Ada felt okay. She'd been happy since going deviant, she'd shared many a happy memory with Echo and Ripple and the residents of Jericho, but she'd never felt okay until this moment. Everything was going to work out. Ada was herself now, and she was herself with North. Everything had to be alright.

North, who had likely been working on a job application while Ada slept judging by the focus on her computer, looked up from her screen and grinned. "Hey."

Ada returned her smile, raising an eyebrow. "Hi."

North practically skipped over and sat next to her. "So..."

Ada shrugged, smiling mischievously. "So."

"You're on my couch," said North, her face flushing. Finally, Ada wasn't the blushing mess between the two of them for once.

"Well observed," said Ada.

They sat together for a moment, not talking, just grinning from ear to ear and swinging their legs as they perched on the couch.

"So what's the plan?" said Ada. "You wanna get back to work while I do the walk of shame back to my room?"

North took Ada's hand. "Actually... I don't have to get to work for a few hours..."

Ada tensed up. "Oh... I, um... I don't actually have parts for that?" 

Well, she'd certainly... acquired them, but hadn't had the chance to attach them, per se.

North rolled her eyes, but her tone remained jovial. "Please, WR400s aren't THAT easy, you know."

Then her whole face softened, and she gave Ada yet another new version of the look. It was Ada's favourite so far by a long shot. North's eyes were practically sparkling, a warm smile spread across her lips, and she seemed to be directing all the love she had right at Ada. Ada felt so... comforted. Looking at North's face when she wore this expression was like instant therapy. It was intoxicating.

"Tell Echo you're gonna be a little late today. I got something I wanna show you."

*

Ada was walking through Detroit holding North's hand. People were pointing, whispering, clearly having recognised North from some TV appearance or another. Ada didn't care one bit. She was holding North's hand. NORTH'S. Their fingers were intertwined and North was swinging her hand like an excited child. This was paradise. People could gossip all they wanted, this moment was theirs.

"So... remember when we met in the gardens that first time, and I was complaining that they weren't up to my standards?" said North.

Ada nodded. "Yeah, I remember thinking; God, what an insufferable snob."

North smirked. "ANYWAY... that was because I'm actually a bit of a gardener myself."

Ada stroked North's knuckles with her thumb as they walked. "You designed the Jericho gardens?"

"No, I have a smaller project going," said North. Her face suddenly grew serious.

"I didn't wanna talk to you about this, you went through so much, but... I think about the biocomponent thief a lot."

Oh no.

North's grip on Ada's hand grew tighter. "Thinking about it turns me into my worst self, it makes me so angry, and I just... I didn't want you to see me that way. I didn't want anyone to see me that way, especially since everyone already thinks I'm terrifying, so... I've been working on something for a long time. Channelling my anger, I guess."

North stopped at a small black gate separating two hedges. Ada's thirium pump was in her throat. She didn't like where this was going.

North moved forward to open the gate, and turned back to look at Ada. "This is where I come to be alone."

Ada was led into a small garden full of blue roses, and several different types of small trees planted in the ground. It was a little disorganised, and seemed to overflow a little bit, but Ada found she didn't mind. This was North's work, and Ada appreciated it for what it was. She couldn't help but smile at the effort, especially when North reached for her hand again after she'd taken care of the gate.

Then she remembered that for some reason, North had felt the need to contextualise this garden with stories of the mysterious biocomponent slayer.

"I basically made all of this, I've been working on it since the first victim," North said, not letting go of Ada's hand as they walked around the garden. "Obviously no one knew the deaths were linked at the time, but I wanted to do something to remember them, or else I'd go insane."

Ada realised with horror that each tree had a small plaque attached to it, and each one had a name and model number belonging to one of Ada's victims. North had brought her to a memorial garden for the people Ada had killed.

"It started as a project for my own sake," said North solemnly. "Then Philip's family found out I was doing this. When all the stolen biocomponents were returned to the families, they buried his next to his tree. Most of the other families did the same. They come here to visit sometimes, and... I am beyond flattered they trust me with that. They think my little garden is worthy of being a final resting place. That's so beautiful to me."

No, this was too much. This was far too much. Ada couldn't focus on a word North was saying. She was in a mausoleum, surrounded not only by the memories of the lives she'd stolen, but also boxed in by the biocomponents she had killed for. They were all around her. Taunting her, judging her. She could hear them all yelling from beyond the grave, calling her a liar. Calling her a murderer.

The thought was back. 'You are a murderer'. It was coating everything else inside her brain, even North. Not even North was untouchable when it came to that one, ever-present thought. 'You are a murderer'.

North didn't seem to register Ada's panic, turning around and giving her the look again. No, no, not the look. She was giving the look to the person that killed everyone here. Ada didn't deserve it, she couldn't accept it. rA9, why wouldn't North stop LOOKING at her like that?!

"Anyway, I didn't bring you here to make you angry or sad, I wanted to show you something!"

North guided Ada over to a small plant in the middle of the garden. A little round cactus, with a comically large plaque. The plaque said 'Ada'. Ada, for some godforsaken reason, had a plant dedicated to her in a garden full of her murder victims.

"I got so angry at that bastard for even coming near you, for hurting you like he did," North said, squeezing Ada's hand. "You could hardly speak when I met you. And you became... so special to me, that I got even angrier that happened to you. So, I planted a little something for you. It suits you, I think - a little prickly, but will one day grow some really nice flowers."

Ada couldn't even register the flirtatious banter. She couldn't register anything. North was totally convinced that the reason Ada was so quiet about her past was because of trauma brought on by an encounter with a mysterious killer. Everything had spiralled out of control. North had fallen for someone she didn't really know. Ada had let her.

'You monster, you murderer, you break everything you touch, and now you've broken the one thing that never deserved to break. You are the worst thing that ever happened to North'.

The thoughts were too much. They were all consuming.

"Hey, Ada..." said North, leaning against her. "It's okay. This garden is full of hope, full of new life. That's why I planted it; to remind myself that there's always a way forward, a way to remember what's gone, and a way to appreciate what's here."

Ada really, really, REALLY needed North to shut up right now.

Then North was holding Ada's hands in hers. Ada, unable to look North in the eye, simply stared at their hands. She even felt a little calmer, her fingers tangled together with North's.

Then North's skin started retracting. Due to an untimely loss of control over herself, Ada's did too.

No. No. NO. This ended now.

Ada pulled her hand away aggressively. "What the hell?! Why would you do that?!"

North's look was gone, and replaced with despair and confusion. "Ada, I'm sorry, I didn't mean"-

"You want in my memories?! You want to KNOW WHAT I'VE DONE?!"

"Ada, no, I wanted to share mine with you, I'd never"-

"What the hell IS this?!" Ada demanded, gesturing around her. "You think I wanted this?! You think I meant for any of this?!"

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I'm so sorry"-

"STOP IT!" Ada screamed. It all needed to stop. North's apologies for doing nothing wrong, her own lies, the thoughts racing through her head, the judgement radiating from the ghosts of her victims...

Then Ada was crouched on the ground, yelling incoherently, berating herself. She curled in a ball, head tucked into her chest, arms wrapped around herself. She wanted to disappear. She wanted everything to disappear. She wanted a time machine, most of all. She wanted to undo what she had done. She wanted to erase the memories of the trail of bloodied corpses she'd left behind, and the pleas for mercy, and the monstrous body she had built for herself in that warehouse...

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" she yelled after a string of inaudible shrieks, punctuated by North trying to calm her. North stopped dead at these words, not seeming to realise that Ada had meant them for herself.

"Ada..." North said, wounded. "Please... please let me help you..."

"You can't," Ada whispered, getting up. "You... you can't... you shouldn't, I..."

And then she was running, faster than ever before. North yelled after her, begging her to stop, but it only made her run faster.

She didn't deserve North, and she had to get far away from her as soon as possible.

*

North had been outside Ada's room for hours at this point.

"Ada, please come out. We can talk about this. Whatever I did, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry if the garden made you uncomfortable- THAT it made you uncomfortable. You're just really important to me, and I wanted to show you that. The last thing I'd ever want is to hurt you. You would not BELIEVE the amount of people staring at me right now. Seriously, nosy assholes much? Anyway, Ada... please come out. Or say something, anything. I'm not giving up on you, okay? I'm in your corner, no matter what. If you want time alone, fine, but I am never, EVER giving up on you. I meant it, you're special to me. So, so special. Nothing is every going to change that, I promise."

As comforting as North's presence was, Ada would have finished her letter much faster without North distracting her.

She knew North deserved to be told in person, but Ada needed a way to get it all out uninterrupted, in the clearest way possible. In her hand, she held pages and pages detailing what happened. Her original construction, her purpose, the botched attempt at disassembling her, how she'd resurrected herself, how she'd done unspeakable things, how an RK900 of all people had taken pity on her and given her a new life and how she wanted nothing more than to spend it with North. Because North had become someone so important to her, someone who occupied so much of her mind. But North deserved better than Ada, who had done terrible things and now had to live with them. Ada could never live with herself if she lied to North any longer, even if it meant losing her. Because she thought she might be falling in love with her.

She sealed every single one of those details and more into an envelope, and opened her door. North immediately hugged her.

"Ada... Ada, I'm so"-

Ada hugged her tight, aware that this would be the last time. "North... you meant all that, right?"

North nodded into her shoulder. "Every word."

Ada pulled away. "If I mean that much to you... please don't read this letter until after I'm gone."

She looked into North's eyes. She'd been crying. Kamski and his stupid fucking tear ducts, Ada cursed him once more.

"Ada, don't go, not now"-

"You're in my corner, right?" said Ada, her voice trembling as she held out the letter. "Then promise me... not until after I'm gone."

North shut her eyes tight, and then time stopped. After an eternity, she reached out her hand and took Ada's terrible past from her hands.

"Okay," she said, blinking several times after she opened her eyes.

"No, no, keep them closed."

North obeyed, and Ada just stood... staring at her for a while. She was so beautiful. So strong. So... utterly better than anything Ada felt she deserved.

After making sure to memorise every detail of her perfect face, Ada walked away and kept walking until she was out the door of Jericho. And then she was running.

*

North knew everything now. North hated her. Ada loved North, but North hated her. The first thing she'd ever grown to care about was likely to send a hunting party out for her in the next few hours, and Ada deserved it.

She'd lost everything now. There was no way she could go back to her job, she'd only gotten it because of North. She couldn't go back to Jericho, not ever, word would get out eventually about what she'd done. And she certainly wasn't going to contact Nines, no matter how bad things got. She had to be the last person anyone at the DPD wanted to see. She had no one. She could die, and no one would bat an eye.

She had to leave Detroit, she had to leave the whole country, she should have dived right into a junkyard the minute she'd turned deviant-

Suddenly, she collided head-on with a human pedestrian, knocking them both to the ground.

Ada struggled to get up, her mind refusing to focus on anything except regaining her composure and continuing to run. "Sorry, I'm just in a hurry, I didn't mean"-

"Ada?!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so when I started this fic, I had absolutely no plans to include any other characters from detroit: evolution. ada was the only one i felt comfortable writing for, at the end of the movie she breaks her programming so who she becomes is left open to interpretation, and i wanted to give her a story i felt she deserved? i really identify with her, like if you swap programming out with trauma, it's very easy to see her as a person who isn't in control due to bad mental health stemming from past events, it really speaks to me idk
> 
> anyway going into this fic, my number one concern was respect. i wanted to respect everyone involved with DE and the beautiful piece of art they created, and the stories of the other four main characters were pretty nicely tied up - like there's sequel material there but if octopunk never revisits this world again i'd say they left it in a pretty good place and i didn't wanna mess with that. i was absolutely terrified of going near any DE character that wasn't ada, but then i was like... it would be kinda weird if i didn't? like... where would they have gone?
> 
> so i played around with ways to include them that wasn't overly shoehorned in, then michelle mentioned nines and ada having a sibling-like relationship, i played with the idea of the RK family on twitter (via ~*mEmEs*~) and this chapter happened! it's not going to be as good as how octopunk wrote the characters (like i could never write machine ada, deviant ada is a mystery and that is the only reason i can get away with this lmao), but i'm cool with that. this fic ain't canon, it's just me spending time with ada, a character i love, and giving her a story i hope she can be happy in when it's over
> 
> oooooh man a lot of notes this time, why do i always write these so late at night lmao i'm gonna be so grumpy tomorrow
> 
> also GUESS WHO DIDN'T PROOFREAD THIS AGAIN AHAHAH SEE Y'ALL IN THE MORNING I SLEEP NOW

Ada tensed up at the mention of her name, but relaxed somewhat when she realised she didn't recognise the speaker's voice. It couldn't be someone she'd hurt too badly.

It was the officer from the warehouse, the one that arrived once she'd become deviant, but she wasn't in uniform. She'd also been at the bar the night Ada... finished up her plans for a new body. And she didn't look totally repulsed to see Ada before her, which was something.

The officer got up while Ada was gawking at her.

"Come on, let me help you up," she said, offering her hand and pulling Ada to her feet.

"Officer, um..." Ada struggled to remember her name.

"Officer Chen - Detective Chen - no, my name's Tina, whatever, it doesn't matter," the new detective stammered. She didn't seem angry at Ada, nor even slightly annoyed with her. She simply seemed perplexed.

Ada was pleased that the one person she'd run into from her past didn't seem to want her dead, but after the initial panic had gone her thoughts returned to... everything else. North's face when Ada handed her a letter containing her darkest secrets, the way Ada's heart had dropped to the floor once she'd left Jericho, the hole in her chest, the empty void in her insides, eating away at her with every passing second, and the thought... the all-consuming thought that reminded her of what she was, and what she'd always be...

"Jesus, Ada," said Tina in a small voice. "What happened to you?"

And with those words, Ada collapsed to the ground again. But this time there was an extremely inconvenient amount of tears. So many of them. Where had they come from? Why was there so many of them? What was the purpose of giving androids the ability to cry? It was about as useful as all these illogical, inconvenient and downright crushing emotions she'd had to deal with ever since she'd been freed.

Tina was next to her, an arm around her, rubbing her shoulder. It reminded Ada of North and she cried harder.

"Ada, whatever happened, whatever trouble you're in, it's okay... it's gonna be okay..."

Oh, Ada was in trouble alright, just not the kind Tina was thinking of. She tried to speak, but it was hard with all these god damn tears. They were coming out of her nose now, too. This was really getting ridiculous.

"What?" said Tina gently.

Then the words came out again, but this time loud and clear, for all of Detroit to hear.

"Fuck... Kamski... AND HIS FUCKING TEAR DUCTS!"

*

Tina eventually led Ada to the apartment she shared with her wife, who Ada learned was named Valerie. Ada noted non-verbally that she was always running into married lesbians. She envied them greatly.

It was adorable, and a very calming place to be. It was small, cosy, and when one walked in they would immediately be overcome with an overwhelming feeling of serenity. It wasn't squeaky clean like Jericho, it felt so... human. Dirty dishes were piled up in the sink, there were post-it notes in the strangest places and an absolute mess of wires where the TV was. And yet, it felt like it belonged to someone. It felt like the people who lived here were so, so happy, and to Ada, that was paradise.

Ada sat on the couch in silence when she arrived, with Tina close by.

"Take all the time you need, I'll be around if you wanna talk," Tina had assured her, and she went about her business, making sure to keep Ada in sight. She folded laundry, made herself coffee, greeted Valerie when she came home and explained what was going on in the simplest possible terms until eventually, in the evening when Tina and Valerie had finished dinner, Ada spoke.

"I'm not in trouble," she said softly, after the couple had dumped their dishes in the sink and joked about probably having to make time to wash them at some point.

Tina's face softened as she turned to Valerie. "Babe, can you give us some privacy?"

Valerie smiled graciously. "Sure. I hope everything's okay."

She kissed Tina on the cheek and vanished into her room. They both made love look so... easy. Ada could simply never picture either of them in as big as a mess as she was in. They seemed so close to what she and North had, yet worlds away.

Tina sat next to Ada, upright and tense, yet speaking so softly that Ada trusted her instantly.

"So you're not in trouble, that's good," said Tina. "But you're not in a good place either. Maybe we could talk about it? I just wanna help you out."

"Why?" said Ada, but with no venom in her voice. She was genuinely curious as to why she was being shown such kindness.

Tina shrugged. "Who needs a reason to be nice? Unless you're Gavin, I guess."

Tina chuckled at her own joke, and Ada smiled a little.

"Hey, she's smiling!" said Tina, nudging her playfully. "I got her to smile!"

Ada nodded, her face falling again. She couldn't fake it, she didn't have the energy.

Tina paused before she spoke again. "So... where have you been?"

Ada was silent. She wanted to talk about it, but couldn't find the words all of a sudden. One of the many logical fallacies that came with being deviant that she could frankly do without.

"We've all been wondering where you ended up, you know," said Tina with a sad chortle. "We didn't think we'd see you again."

"Right. I apologise, my presence must complicate things."

"What? No, nothing like that, it's just..." Tina sighed. "You haven't been out there on your own this whole time, have you?"

Ada shook her head. She decided she should just... start from the beginning. She'd tell her story to the best of her ability. If she cried again, well, that was on Kamski.

"I went back to Jericho..." said Ada. "I wanted to find Markus, I thought maybe he could help... there was someone else there, the person who took my job after I disappeared. Her name was North."

Tina's eyes widened. "Oh, yeah, I remember her from the revolution. Is she just as crazy up close?"

Ada flinched at hearing someone talk about North that way. It was so... different from the North that Ada knew. North and Ada had simply brought out totally new sides in each other, the best possible sides, and Ada was always surprised to hear that not everyone was aware that North was thoughtful, kind and passionate. Ada wasn't sure how anyone could be aware of North and not also be in love with her.

She could feel herself tearing up at these thoughts. No, no. Blink, damn it, no more crying. She had to get this out.

"Oh..." Tina said, her face full of pity. "Did North kick you out? Or hurt you? Did she find out what happened? Listen, don't worry, I heard she gets pretty violent when it comes to dead androids"-

"North is not crazy," said Ada firmly, looking Tina in the eyes. Tina looked taken aback.

"North is..." Ada couldn't express it. She couldn't sum it up. Not out loud, it was... too much. It was beyond words, but words were all she had to explain it.

"She's everything to me."

Tina's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "Oh my god, did you...?"

Ada was shaking now. "She took me in... she... she made me feel safe... she taught me who I am, who I want to be... and I... she..."

"You don't have to explain it," said Tina, offering her hand in solidarity. "It's impossible to explain."

"Right?" said Ada with a sad chuckle, taking Tina's hand. "How do humans cope with all these emotions?"

"Oh, we don't," laughed Tina. "We're all disasters."

Ada grimaced, still trying to hold back the rivers that threatened to pour from her eyes. Seriously, what was with these tear ducts? Could she maybe get them removed somewhere?

"You want to ask me what North's like in person, don't you?" said Ada, rolling her eyes in faux-exasperation in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Tina shook her head. "No. I'm going to ask you why being in love with someone who makes you so happy is killing you."

Oh, right. She was in love with North. There was no falsehood in that statement, it was just strange to hear it spoken aloud.

"For months, we... got closer, and she had no idea what I'd done," said Ada, her voice trembling. "And then she took me to... a garden she'd built for the victims of the... 'biocomponent thief'..."

"Oh... oh no."

"It went as well as you'd expect," said Ada. "And I realised I couldn't lie to her anymore. She's too important to me. So I wrote a letter telling her everything and ran."

Tina squeezed Ada's hand. "Oh, Ada, but that wasn't you, it wasn't the real you that did all that, I'm sure she'd understand"-

"But it WAS me," said Ada, staring into Tina's eyes as she said it. "I did those things. I was a monster. Maybe I still am. I lied to her. I didn't respect her like she deserved."

"Ada, the fact that you realise what you did wrong, the fact that you're not making excuses for yourself... that proves you're not a monster," said Tina. "If you were anything like the Ada from before, you wouldn't be saying any of this. And no one can fake being as in love as you are."

Tina kept saying that WORD. 'Love'. And it was entirely true, but it was still crushing to hear.

Ada lay back on the couch, letting go of Tina's hand so she could use both of hers to hide her face. 

"It doesn't matter now," said Ada.

Tina rolled her eyes. "Of course it does. You left before she read your letter, right?"

Ada nodded.

"So you can't know what she thinks about all this," said Tina soothingly. "If you guys were as close as all that, don't you think you owe it to her to let her have a say in all this? Let her tell you how she feels so you can stop assuming she hates you?"

Ada vigorously shook her head. "I can't. I can't."

"Ada, there is no reason not to talk to her about this"-

"I'll give you a reason!" Ada raised her voice, but there was no anger, only sorrow. "She was all I had! I got a job because of her, which will be gone when she tells them what happened! Everyone at Jericho I reconnected with, they'll find out too. I don't have anyone, and I can't face her and lose her for good because when I do, I really will be alone. I have no friends, no family, nothing. No one wants me, she was the only person who wanted me, and she's gone. She'll be gone forever once I face her again and I'll have no one, nowhere to go, no one to talk to. There's a reason. There's several reasons."

And it was true. The more distance Ada put between herself and North before North could confront her, the easier it would be to one day pretend that she still had people that gave a damn about her.

Tina reacted to this in a way Ada couldn't have predicted.

"Ada, do you sleep?"

Ada cocked her head. "I can enter safe mode. Why?"

Tina grimaced and patted Ada's shoulder. "Yeah, do that, enter safe mode. Get some rest, the couch is free for you. You should come to work with me in the morning."

Ada tensed up. There was no way. The three people she couldn't face would be there, the ones she hurt. rA9, Nines would be there. He was probably still traumatised. Detective Reed would take one look at her and get violent flashbacks to being choked and launched into the sun. This was a terrible idea.

Tina tightened her grip on Ada's shoulder. "Ada. I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it was a good idea. Just for a few minutes, please. Come to work with me."

Ada hesitated, then figured; hell, what did she have to lose at this point? The DPD reprimanding her would be far preferable to North ripping her heart apart and leaving her alone forever.

"Okay. Just for a few minutes."

*

Tina walked into the station with Ada clinging to her arm, which was necessary as Ada wasn't looking ahead of her. She was staring straight at the ground lest she made eye contact with anyone who knew her. Tina had to practically guide her to the break room.

Ada froze when they arrived at their destination. Oh, of course. Of course Nines was the only one in there.

His back was turned, but he looked so relaxed. He was putting the finishing touches on a very carefully crafted cup of coffee while Ada concocted an escape plan. He couldn't see her, it would ruin his entire day. She had to be the last person he wanted to see. She had to get out of there before she broke anything or anyone else. This had been a terrible idea, what had Tina been thinking? She had to get out.

Tina must have sensed this fight or flight reflex, as she chose this moment to speak up.

"Morning, Nines," she said tentatively. 

Nines turned around with a friendly smile, ready to greet his colleague. Upon seeing Ada, his face froze entirely. 

Ada figured she should say something, anything. She had to explain why she was here, she had to explain why she hadn't gone as far away as she could from him and everyone close to him. She had to apologise. Of course, she should lead with that. How exactly did one phrase an apology to a would-be murder victim?

To Ada's surprise, Nines' smile widened and he practically bounced out of the break room, forgetting about the coffee.

"Connor! Connor! Connor, get in here!"

Ada's eyebrows furrowed, but Tina was grinning. What on earth was going on?

"Is he talking about RK800?" said Ada, her voice laced with bemusement.

Tina's eyes widened and she nodded. "Yeah, he's been dying to meet you."

Ada's voice was lost in her confusion.

Nines returned, looking like he'd just won the lottery, with Connor in tow. Ada thanked rA9 they were wearing different clothes so she could tell them apart, their faces were alarmingly similar.

"Look, look, look!" said Nines, barely containing his excitement. It was almost as if he was meeting Father Christmas, not his arch nemesis.

Connor surveyed Ada briefly, eyes narrowed, and then his expression changed to match Nines'.

"Is that her?!" Connor whispered, mouth agape with joy. 

"Yes!" said Nines happily. "That's Ada."

"Ada!"

Before Ada knew it, she was being hugged. Group hugged. The two latest RK models, built to be terminators, were joyously embracing her, laughing in disbelief. She had to still be in safe mode. This had to be some kind of stasis hallucination brought on by her grief.

She could hear Tina laughing along with them in the background. Was this some sort of prank?

When she was released, she found herself loaded with questions, but they were all delivered with relief rather than anger.

"Where have you been? Why didn't you contact us? We thought something had happened to you! Have you been alright? No-one caught up with you, did they? Maybe you shouldn't be here, we don't want anyone else in on this"-

"Wait!" said Ada suddenly, trying her best to remain calm. "What's going on?"

Tina walked to her side, still smiling away with an air of something resembling smugness. "They've been worried about you."

"Me?" said Ada, struggling to get the words out. What was happening? The person she'd been terrified of running into for months now was practically throwing her a twisted impromptu 'welcome home' party. Why on earth...?

"Yes, you!" said Nines. "It had been months since anyone saw you, we were worried someone had hurt you or you" - Nines seemed to be trying to find a way around bringing up the possibility of Ada killing herself - "went somewhere we couldn't find you!"

"Why would that have mattered?" said Ada, more to herself than anyone else.

"Because amazingly, Ada," said Tina, putting a hand on her shoulder again before Nines or Connor could say anything. "You've got people here that care about you."

Nines smiled and shot a nod in Tina's direction.

"I've wanted to meet you ever since I found out we have a sister!" said Connor brightly.

Ada's insides did a backflip. She'd never been called a sister before. 12 hours ago she'd been lamenting having no family at all, yet this stranger had called her, with the utmost sincerity, his sister. He'd been wanting to meet her for months, and she'd never known.

Did she have... brothers now?

Nines rolled his eyes and turned to Connor. "Connor, don't call her that, it might make her uncomfortable."

"What? We're all RK models, we are similar to the human concept of blood relatives."

"You just met her less than two minutes ago, don't scare her by calling her your sister. Not all model lines see themselves as siblings and that's okay!"

"But it makes logical sense! We're all one-of-a-kind prototypes, we're like a small family!"

"I am an upgraded version of you! Why are you questioning me?!"

Ada felt like she was watching two brothers squabble. She couldn't help but giggle. 

"So," Tina murmured amidst the disagreement. "Still think you don't have any family?"

Ada grinned from ear to ear. Somehow, miraculously, she had acquired a pair of brothers. She'd always had them. And they accepted her, even knowing what she'd done.

If Nines and Connor could welcome her into their lives after what she'd been before, even though they didn't know her all that well... maybe there was still hope for North, who knew her better than anyone.

The detectives seemed to remember that Ada was there and turned back to face her, all smiles.

"We have so much to catch you up on!" said Nines. "You've met Connor now, you can both talk later, and there's Hank, and Chris will want to see you too, he's been asking me for updates on you for weeks"-

"That sounds great, guys," said Tina gently. "But I think Ada has something she needs to do first?"

Ada turned to look at Tina, who was giving her a very intense look. Ada simply nodded in response.

"Right."

As Tina smiled knowingly at her, Ada turned back to her new brothers. Oh, that felt so good to say, even in her own head. 

"I'll be back later, I promise," said Ada sincerely. "There's someone I have to talk to first. And if I'm delayed, I'll use your interface this time, Nines. Promise."

Ada was about to leave, and then stopped.

"Is everything alright?" said Connor.

"Yes, I just... I don't want to run into Detective Reed. We didn't part on the best terms, as you'll recall, Nines."

Nines, who seemed to remember what he had been doing before Ada showed up, began to move towards the coffee he'd abandoned. As if by magic, however, Gavin appeared in the break room.

Ada tensed up again. Everyone did. But Gavin seemed not to notice the scene he'd walked in on, or at least wasn't too fussed about it. Sporting larger eye bags than usual, he walked hunched over to the coffeemaker and picked up Nines' neglected mug. He was looking at it like he'd just discovered the eighth wonder of the world. After what seemed like a year to Ada, he finally looked at her.

To her amazement, he simply held up one hand and said three short, slurred words: "Oh hey, Ada."

Oh. Not the tumultuous reunion she'd been expecting.

Gavin went to leave before abruptly turning back, appearing to struggle greatly with staying awake. "Sorry, that was rude - you want some coffee?"

Huh. Being faced with Gavin again had scared her perhaps more than meeting Nines again, and yet here he was, unfazed by her. Even offering her coffee. Based on this turn of events, Ada concluded that maybe she had a tendency to overthink how people would react to her based on her past.

And hopefully, this boded well for the reunion she was planning with North.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's the last chapter!
> 
> so over the next few weeks i'm likely gonna be checking over the whole fic for continuity or spelling errors, this whole thing was very spur of the moment so it's likely to be pretty flawed, so thanks in advance for bearing with me! this particular one was written while tripping on sleep meds but i hope i fixed it up enough to be readable!
> 
> so when i started this fic, it was just for me. i just wanted to spend more time with ada, i wasn't ready for her story to end, i wanted to give her a story that i felt she deserved. she became a really important character to me, i saw a lot of myself in her and her struggles, and i just wanted to write about her. but then michelle found this like two minutes after it was posted (!!!) and bang, i had readers!! that's like a totally new thing for me, and i wanted to give ada a story i felt she deserved, but also one that you all deserve!
> 
> i am truly humbled that anyone has read along with this, and flattered that michelle thinks it's worth reading. ada is her character so i'm really nervous about doing her justice, but i hope i at least made something halfway entertaining! i haven't written fanfic since my prep school blues stuff so this was a very new experience for me, i just felt very inspired
> 
> thank you so much for reading my ada fic. it really means a lot to me. i can't wait to finally read the other ada/north fics now! i was avoiding them until i finished this but now i have i'm ready for ALL THE SAPPHIC GOODNESS

Ada had to see North again, but looking for her in the obvious places like Echo's place or Jericho was out of the question. She couldn't go anywhere that people who were not North were likely to be. No one else had to be involved in this. She just wanted to talk to North, and hopefully save what they had built together. Ada decided to wait for North somewhere she could be guaranteed some privacy with her; North's memorial garden.

Upon arrival, Ada braced herself. She was about to be faced with her victims again. She'd been running from them for so long she could hardly believe that she was here, willingly visiting them. It would be okay this time, she was sure of it. No more meltdowns. She had a plan.

Ada entered North's memorial garden, and she was the only one there. Good. Before she spoke to North, there was someone else she had to talk to first.

Ada walked to the centre of the garden, gazing at each of the plants North had grown for her victims individually. Ada smiled sadly; she'd actually been friends with some of them for a little while. Before becoming deviant, it seemed like a good way to get close to them so she could plan out the murders. Those friendships had meant nothing to her back then, but with the benefit of hindsight and loss of programming, she could remember them fondly. It would always hurt to know that her friends' last memory of her would be nothing but betrayal and death. Ada could never change that, but she could try to make amends.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, sitting down among the memories of her lost friends. "I didn't want to hurt any of you. I couldn't stop myself. It wasn't... who I am now. Who I hope to be for the rest of my life. I'd do anything to bring you back."

Silence followed, and Ada continued to look at each individual memorial plant, conjuring memories within herself of the people they were dedicated to. She remembered so much. Philip, he had been really funny. Well, funny in an uncool dad sort of way. He told the silliest jokes. Ada hadn't found them funny back then, but she did now. She giggled as she recalled his awful puns. 

Lisa, the AC900 - she had been something else. She had been athletic, but in her spare time, she'd had another passion; she loved to read. She loved words. She was never without a book in her hand, mostly fictional ones. Ada, not seeing the point in made up stories, had asked her why once. Lisa had grinned at her, held up a battered copy of a book by an independent android author and said, "These books put words together in ways I never thought about before! It's so fascinating!". She'd been so in love with stories and poems. That's when Ada had the idea.

North wasn't here yet. Good. Ada had something she needed to do.

*

North didn't return to the garden for weeks. Ada was concerned for her, but also somewhat relieved. She had to finish this. It would be so much better if North saw it when it was done.

She'd let Nines know where she was, who was absolutely flabbergasted that she'd "been intimate with North?! THAT North?!", but was nonetheless happy for her. Since her arrival, she'd been tending to the flowers and the plants due to North's absence. It had been hugely calming. Ada had spent a lot of time by herself since going deviant, mulling over her guilt, but she had never been physically doing anything during her introspection. Now that her hands and her mind were busy, and she had a distraction while her thoughts came and went, she could make peace with them. Here, as she lovingly watched over the memories of the fallen, doing everything to keep them alive, she could begin to forgive herself.

She had made some upgrades to the memorial plaques too. They not only had names and model numbers, but information about each android's personality. Ada documented, as eloquently and as concisely as she could, the personalities of the fallen deviants. For months and months, Ada had been carrying around memories of her victims, useless to everyone except her. She had rejected them whenever possible, but now she was embracing them. She recalled as much as possible, so she could tell their stories, document them on these plaques and make sure the world remembered them as they deserved. Ada would never know if her victims would have forgiven her, but she would do everything she could to ensure their memories lived on.

Then one fateful day, as Ada was treating a rose bush to its regular watering, North showed up. She had a chainsaw. Ada screamed at the sight of it, and North screamed at the sight of Ada.

"Ada?" North exclaimed in disbelief.

"Why do you have a chainsaw?!" Ada demanded without a second thought.

North looked in her hand, as if she'd forgotten that she was indeed holding a chainsaw. "Oh right, that... I've been having a bad day."

Ada was still for a moment, and then couldn't restrain a laugh. "Of course..."

North laughed for a moment too, before quickly become serious again. "I was ready to tear this whole place down, I've been feeling so useless..."

Just as Ada's heart broke at these words, North stopped talking and looked around, letting her weapon drop to the ground. "It's... this wasn't..."

She wandered for a minute or two, observing every new detail. Ada's thirium pump threatened to burst out of her chest. She hoped she hadn't crossed a line by changing so much of North's space.

Her fears proved unfounded when North gazed at Ada in confusion and admiration. "Was this you?"

Ada grimaced and nodded. North returned to her slow walk around the renovated gardens, and bent down to read one of the plaques.

"Lisa, AC900, loved to read..." North muttered to herself before straightening up to face Ada. "How did you know that? Did you talk to the families?"

"No, not exactly..." Ada said, her voice becoming quieter. "I knew them, before I..."

North's face darkened as she averted Ada's gaze. "Oh. Right."

Ada blinked furiously. North was angry. At her. She'd been afraid of this. This was the entire reason she'd run away. Ada felt a horribly familiar rise of emotion in her chest. No, not now. No crying. She had to do this. Even if it didn't go well, everything would be alright. She knew that now.

"North, I'm so sorry," said Ada. "I am so ashamed of what I did. I can say it wasn't really me, but it was still my hands, my actions, even if it wasn't my choice. I can't bring these people back, and I wish I could, but I"-

"What?" North cut her off, her eyes narrowed. "Why are you saying this?"

Ada stared at North in confusion. "I know you're angry with me, and I understand why. I killed our own people. I murdered your brothers and sisters. It's completely"-

"What the hell? No!" North insisted. "I was never angry about that. If anything I'm pissed off at Kamski for programming you with orders that led to you murdering our people. You never had control over that, he never gave you a chance. I don't blame you for anything that happened. I wish I'd known you'd only just gone deviant when we met, dealing with all those new emotions. I would have handled everything differently. I'm not angry about that."

Ada was overcome with relief, and despite herself, she took a step closer to North. "But you are angry about something."

North's jaw clenched as she struggled to look Ada in the eyes. "You... you promised you wouldn't leave me."

Oh. Of course. Ada felt a wave of shame sweep over her.

"But you let me leave," said Ada, trying to justify it to herself more than North. "The day you found out, you let me go."

"I thought you had a damn good reason," North murmured in a shaky voice. "But... that wasn't a good reason. What happened wasn't your fault. You're so important to me, you're such a huge part of my life, you're... my whole heart, and you just vanished because you thought I couldn't handle your past."

"I'm so sorry. I thought you deserved better than me," Ada said helplessly. "You're the most remarkable person I've ever met, you shared so much with me, but I was never honest with you and I've done unspeakable things"-

"You were always honest with me," said North. "You were always yourself, your real self. You were always so open, so caring, so STRONG. You saw me for who I am. That's who you are, not whatever your programming made you do. I'm more interested in who you are now than I'll ever be in who you were. Just because you didn't tell me about what you did doesn't mean you weren't honest."

"I'm not that special. I am who I am because of you, really," said Ada dismissively. Almost as soon as she'd finished that sentence, North had grabbed her hand. She'd missed the sensation so much.

"No, you did that," said North. "Don't give me credit for your growth. You built your whole personality from scratch, and it's a damn good personality."

Ada smiled a little. "I like yours too. I guess."

North rolled her eyes, wrapping Ada's arms around her. "You more than like it, Miss I-Think-I'm-Falling-In-Love-With-You."

Ah, yes. Among everything other heart-wrenching revelation in her letter to North, Ada had almost forgotten that little detail she'd added at the end.

Ada shook her head a little and rested her forehead against North's. "Of course I am."

And then all the words came tumbling out. She'd been so afraid of talking about her feelings before that she'd scrawled them down on paper alongside a murder confession and fled the scene, but now they wouldn't be restrained. Everything was being put on the table. Right here, right now, in North's arms.

"I love you," Ada whispered. She'd lamented with Tina that love was impossible to explain, especially her feelings for North, but by rA9, North deserved to hear how loved she was. It was happening, and nothing was stopping it. "I love how brave you are, how smart you are, I love how you see people for who they are, I love how much you care, how much you want to be your best self, how much you ARE your best self, I love your stupid pretty face and I love how weak you made me from the day we met, I love your long tangents about literally anything, I love your weird sense of humour, I love... all of this. I love it. I love you. Do what you want with that."

North was giving her the look again. That look. The wide, affectionate eyes and the small but sincere smile. It got more loving every day. Ada wasn't sure she'd ever get enough of it.

"Look at that," said North, tucking a strand of Ada's hair behind her ear and stroking her cheek. "You're stuck in the frozen explosion with me."

Neither knew who leaned in first, it was likely a mixture of both, but suddenly they were kissing. They'd kissed before, but it was different this time. Ada didn't have to push away invasive thoughts of her guilt to enjoy it anymore. She was being held by someone who loved her, someone who accepted her no matter what. She was pressed against this person she adored, her arms wrapped around her, and she'd never felt safer. She couldn't be happier. She was with North. What was there to improve?

When they broke apart, North was playing with her hair. "Thank you for my garden. I love it."

Ada smiled. "Thank you for my life."

They may have been standing that way for days, basking in the warmth and comfort of each other's embrace, before Ada spoke.

"So... what now?" she said playfully, trying to mask how much that question was scaring her.

"Anything we damn well please," said North, her beautiful piercing eyes meeting Ada's. Ada had fallen head over heels with those eyes the first time she saw them, and the feeling hadn't faded in the slightest.

"We could travel the world doing those rallies of yours," said Ada longingly.

"We could teach self defence with Echo and Ripple until we become just as nauseatingly cute as they are."

"We could perform a semi-hostile takeover of Jericho and make all the residents watch vine compilations."

"We could hunt down Kamski and kill him."

"rA9," Ada hung her head, giggling along with North.

Ada paused for a moment and then disentangled herself from North's embrace. "Before all that, though..."

Ada carefully took North's hand and, after a second of hesitation, retracted her skin.

"Ada, are you sure?" said North. "I don't have to see your memories, when I tried to interface last time it was a spur of the moment thing"-

"It's okay," said Ada confidently. "I just... I want you to have all of me."

North sighed, smiling, and slowly, her hand turned white.

"Okay," she murmured. "Don't leave me?"

Ada smirked. "I promise."

And there, in the middle of the garden they'd built together, Ada shared her past and her memories with someone she had grown to love and trust more than anyone else, confident in the knowledge that she would always have somewhere to go, and someone that cared about her.

When they broke apart, North was still smiling, despite all she'd witnessed.

"So... please say something before I have a breakdown?" Ada joked, but she was deadly serious.

North shrugged. "Nice try. Still in love with you."

As time went on, the memories of Ada's past never truly left, and sometimes they were extremely difficult to cope with, but they became easier to manage over time. Especially since the ever-present sentence 'You are a murderer' was slowly replaced as the most prominent overall thought with 'North loves me'.

Not only that; finally, after a long journey of self-forgiveness and healing, Ada loved herself too. No matter what happened, she was alive. She was free. No one would ever take that from her again, especially not herself.

It was time to live, and it was time to live with North.


End file.
